


Forget the World

by ErebosBlue



Series: Critical Hits [4]
Category: Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Confused Peter Parker, Dark Tony Stark, Dialogue Heavy, Dissociation, Eating Disorders, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Flashbacks, Gaslighting, He's just an asshole in this, Heavy Angst, Human Disaster Matt Murdock, Hurt Peter Parker, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I regret this, I want to clarify that I like Tony in the movies, I'm totally not venting, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, It's more like unhealthy eating habits but that's not a tag, Kinda, M/M, Manipulation, Matt Murdock acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Non-Linear Narrative, Not Canon Compliant, Not Tony Stark Friendly, Panic Attacks, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker Whump, Peter Parker is a Mess, Peter is 17, Protective Matt Murdock, Sexual Abuse, Skip is an asshole, THAT BEING SAID, There's just a lot of flashbacks, Tony Stark Is Not Helping, Touch-Starved, Trans Peter Parker, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Victim Blaming, Why Did I Write This?, Wordcount: 5.000-10.000, and so is Skip, but we been knew, like at all, there it is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:27:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26024953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ErebosBlue/pseuds/ErebosBlue
Summary: Peter Parker knew that his love life was a disaster.He knew he fell in love with anyone that smiled warmly in his direction.He fell quick and hard.But he knew that.Who knew it would backfire so badly?
Relationships: Matt Murdock & Peter Parker, Peter Parker/Skip Westcott
Series: Critical Hits [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1525577
Comments: 4
Kudos: 51





	Forget the World

**Author's Note:**

> This totally isn't a vent fic. I have no idea what you're talking about.  
> Okay, seriously.  
> I took a personal story and jazzed it up. Aged me and my abuser up and took it farther than it actually went. We never actually ever fully had sex, I think. I don't know. I don't remember all of it, but she tried, but it never actually went that far.  
> Also, I'm trans! I'm a trans dude. So, yes, genders have been changed a bit as Skip is most definitely a dude.  
> I was also never blamed, but I blamed myself for a while. Still do, on occasion.  
> If you're curious about how old I was, I believe I was 13. As I said, memories are foggy. I'm 15. So, yeah, only 2 years ago. God, it feels like so long ago, but it really wasn't.  
> Enough venting.  
> Peter and Skip are both 17, Peter Is training under Matt, he's been Spidey for 2 years.  
> Tony is also a dick in this.  
> Whoops?  
> (I also have very limited knowledge about how the fuck New York is laid out and shit.)

“Kid?” Peter flinched when he heard Matt call out for him. Peter had rushed into the house and shut his bedroom door behind him. He didn’t say hello like he normally did. Not to mention that he wasn’t one to run into his room. Sure, he had his days where he didn’t talk as much, but he never _ran_ to his room. Peter felt like shit though. Even though he wanted to seek out Matt for comfort, he didn’t want to sob into him like a scared and lost child. No matter how tempting, Peter rested his head against the door and made no effort to move.

“Yeah. It’s me.” Peter cringed when he heard his voice. It wasn’t exactly stable. Peter was normally _decent_ at covering when he was emotionally distressed. Not today though. It was almost ironic in a weird sense. Spider-Man holding back sobs as he sat on the floor of Daredevil’s apartment. No one even believed that Daredevil was Spidey’s mentor. The entire world was convinced that Tony Stark was. Peter had nothing against Tony, he looked up to him a great deal, but it was almost insulting. They had just assumed that Peter couldn’t make his own suits when he definitely did. Sure, it was hard without a lab, but Peter got by. Not the mention the fact that Peter really didn’t want to be an Avenger.

There was nothing wrong with being an Avenger, but Peter preferred working alone or in small groups. He would always help the Avengers when they needed it, but he really couldn’t deal with being in such a big group constantly. He was also extremely protective of his identity and he was certain that the Avengers would try and get it out of him if he officially joined them.

“Do you want me to come in and comfort you or do you want to talk through the door?” Matt’s voice was rarely so soft. Peter knew Matt cared about him, but he had a hard time showing it. Peter didn’t fault him for it, it wasn’t his fault, but it did make the times it happened feel much more… _real_. He leaned up against the door. He could easily just move and let Matt come in. Hell, he really _wanted_ to do that, but part of his brain wouldn’t let him. 

“Through the door. Please.”

“That works for me.” There was a moment of silence. Peter wasn’t sure if Matt was just adjusting or if he just didn’t know what to say yet. “Do you wanna talk about it?” Peter felt a sharp spike of fear run through him. What would Matt think? Peter had told him about his boyfriend. Well, ex-boyfriend now. He _told_ Matt. It seemed like a dumb decision now.

_“I, um, have something to tell you.” Peter stumbled out as he sat on the kitchen counter. He really liked sitting on counters. They were comfortable and didn’t freak people out like the ceiling. He’d scared a substantial amount of people by sitting on the ceiling. Matt turned to face him with a subdued smile. Peter saw that smile a lot recently. It was nice._

_“What’s up, Pete?”_

_“Well, you see, I may or may not have a boyfriend.” The shock on Matt’s face was evident, but it quickly fell into a larger smile._

_“I’ll have to meet him at some point.” Peter’s hesitance turned into a bright smile._

_“Maybe I can invite him to dinner at some point?”_

_“That sounds like a wonderful idea.”_

“I… don’t want to talk about it yet.” Peter knew that he would eventually break and spill everything to Matt, but it wasn’t quite ready. Right that second, he just wanted comfort. Comfort from Matt, his father figure. He had started training under Matt soon after he became Spidey. He needed someone to teach him how to fight as he had 0 fighting experience when he started. Matt had been reluctant to take Peter under his wings, but he gave in eventually.

Peter, on the other hand, was reluctant to accept Matt as another father figure. He wasn’t sure he was ready to accept Matt as father figure, but he warmed up to Matt quickly as soon as he started training under him. After May passed suddenly, Matt was there to bring Peter into his home. He was trying to teach himself to call Matt dad, but he had just got over calling him Mr. Murdock.

“That’s okay. That’s okay.” Peter tried to steady his breath. Matt was behind the door and Peter was alone in his room. He was alright. He was fine. “What do you want me to do?”

“Can you talk about your day? Just… please.”

“Of course.” Peter’s body relaxed as Matt began to talk about his day. About how Foggy and Karen got into a small fight about what they were going to order lunch. Foggy had wanted to splurge a bit, but Karen pointed out that they don’t even have enough money to comfortably pay bills. Hell, they didn’t pay Peter who interned for them. Peter didn’t do it for money. He did it partly for the experience and partly to spend more time with Matt and his friends. Peter wanted to keep paying attention, he loved listening to Matt, but his mind drifted to why this happened in the first place.

_“What do you mean you’re leaving?” Peter questioned Ned as they sat down in the cafeteria. They hadn’t been able to talk that morning as Peter had to stop a robber. Well, technically he could’ve let someone else handle it. But no one was near, and Peter wasn’t going to risk it._

_“My family is moving upstate, and I can’t drive to school everyday being that far away.” Peter’s face fell. MJ had already left a month ago and Peter wasn’t ready to let another friend go. “We’ll still talk all the time! You’re still my best friend!” Peter forced a smile for his friend and nodded. He wasn’t actually convinced, he already talked less and less with MJ, but Ned didn’t need his pessimism._

_“Right.” Peter’s eyes trained on the food in front of him. He didn’t feel hungry anymore._

Peter felt tears prick at his eyes as he thought about Ned. The two hadn’t talked in forever and Peter couldn’t feel worse about it. Ned had been with him through thick and thin and Peter abandoned him. He could’ve very well just ended the best friendship he’s ever had over, what, a boyfriend? Not even a good one.

“You’re crying. Are you sure you don’t want to talk?” Right. Matt’s heightened senses. Peter shook his head lightly.

“I don’t know what I want.” On one hand, he wanted Matt to come in and comfort him, but on the other hand he wanted Matt to stay away and leave Peter to collect his thoughts. It was exhausting having two parts of his brain fighting so vigorously. Maybe he was just scared about how Matt would react. It wasn’t like Matt got mad at him often, only when he deserved it, but the notion was still terrifying.

“Do you mind if I come in?” Peter hesitated. It wasn’t good to isolate himself. He knew that. He knew that he should seek help from someone that was always open to listening. Matt was good at listening. Probably because of his heightened sense. Peter liked to talk a mile a minute, so the two made a good match in conversation. Matt wouldn’t even see him. Though, he _would_ know he was a wreck, but that was obvious. Matt could probably already tell through the door.

“You can come in.” Peter shifted away from the door and rested against the wall next to it. Matt sat down next to Peter as soon as he was inside the room. Peter leaned his head against Matt’s shoulder. He was already in the room, so there was no point going against his instincts. Matt threaded his fingers through Peter’s hair slowly. Even though Peter still felt like dog shit, he started purring. He had inherited weird traits from the spider. Purring was never something Peter thought he would be doing after becoming Spider-Man. Yet, here he was.

“You don’t need to talk. We can sit here as long as you want.” Peter nodded slightly. And sit they did. For minutes upon minutes. Peter went to talk multiple times, but the words wouldn’t form. He wanted to spill out all his feelings and what had happened, but he would be lying if he said he wasn’t scared.

_“You know, you reporting your every move to him seems kinda weird.”_

_“It’s not like that-”_

_“It was a joke. I get it. You wanna let him know you’re safe.”_

_“That’s why-”_

_“You would think that he would trust you. Isn’t he basically your dad?”_

Peter hadn’t gotten that conversation out of his head. He always told Matt where he was so that he wouldn’t worry. He had enough things to worry about between Daredevil and being a lawyer. Plus raising a kid on his own. Peter owed him communication at the very least.

“Do you… Do you remember Skip?” Peter regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth. Matt had _told_ him to keep an eye out for Skip. After Peter had invited him to dinner, Matt pulled him aside and said he had an off feeling about him, but trusted Peter to make a judgement on his character. Peter hadn’t really listened because _of course_ he didn’t. Peter was a stubborn bastard at the worst of times.

“What did he do?” Matt’s voice dropped what felt like an octave and the hand that was threading through his hair stopped. Peter winced slightly.

“I’m sorry. I know that you were telling me that you had an off feeling, but I didn’t listen. I just wanted to believe-”

“I’m not blaming you. What did he do?”

“We broke up.” Peter wasn’t sure he wanted to elaborate. He was broken up with, but that wasn’t what was really bothering him. It wasn’t even the why. It was all that happened during their relationship. Peter had been blind to all that was happening while they were together, but as soon as he started to think about _why_ Skip had broken up with him, it all made sense.

_“You’ve been really distant recently.” Peter looked over at Skip who was sitting next to him. He tilted his head slightly. He had been focusing on work more, but he hadn’t noticed drifting away from Skip. “I mean, I get it, but I don’t really think this is gonna work out if there’s a divide between us.”_

_“What do you-”_

_“I’m saying we should break up.” Peter felt himself recoil. Peter thought he gave Skip a good chunk of his time. He always made sure to spend the time when he wasn’t doing anything talking to him. He spent classes, gym especially, talking to him even when he really should’ve been working. Even when he wanted a moment alone._

_“Okay.”_

“Do you want to talk about why or do you just want to eat something and relax?” Peter’s hand immediately grabbed Matt’s arm as he started to change positions. He really didn’t want him to move away from Peter’s side.

“Talk.” Peter was going through a lot of emotions. Most of which, he didn’t understand. He didn’t know how to feel about any of it, but he trusted Matt to, at the very least, listen to what he had to say even if he couldn’t actually give advice on how to feel or react. “I just… At first, I was hurt that he was breaking up with me, ya know? But after looking over our relationship I don’t know how to feel.”

“What do you mean?” Peter moved further towards Matt who immediately wrapped his arms tightly around him. Peter melted into the touch.

“Our relationship was just… I don’t like thinking back on it. It just… feels off.” Matt’s grip on Peter tightened. Peter didn’t know how to describe it. When he was with Skip, he felt fine, but whenever he looked back at it, he felt uncomfortable. He wanted to just disappear. Curl into himself and disappear.

“What made you uncomfortable?” Peter could tell Matt was trying to hold back his anger, but Peter could hear it. He could hear Matt’s voice shaking with unbridled rage. Peter swallowed slowly. He didn’t want to talk about it, but maybe he should.

_“What’s wrong, Peter?” Peter shook his head and smiled at Skip._

_“Nothing. I’m alright.” Skip smiled back and leaned forward. Peter wasn’t exactly in the mood to be touched, but he leaned forward for Skip to kiss him. It was always expected that if there was a lull they would kiss. It was fine, Peter liked the attention, but he would’ve preferred if it was a choice. But it was fine._

_“You wanna come over after school?” Peter really would’ve preferred going home and training with Matt and then going on patrol, but he did like spending time with his boyfriend. Peter nodded slowly. He still needed to go on patrol, but it could wait until nighttime. Well, crime wouldn’t wait, but he could always make an excuse if he needed to leave earlier._

_“It might be shorter than usual though.” Skip’s bright smile dropped into a deepened frown._

_“Why’s that?”_

_“Well it’s just that-” Peter didn’t even get to finish his sentence before the bell rang and Skip walked out to go to the next class. Peter rushed to get his shit together and catch up with him._

“Well, I-”

_Peter and Skip were lying on Skip’s couch watching something Peter wasn’t paying attention. The couch was extremely small, so Peter was basically lying on top of Skip. Peter was a touch-starved bastard and they all knew it, so Peter didn’t exactly mind. It was pleasant even. It then escalated from there. Skip began groping at him. That on its own wouldn’t be that bad, but Skip’s mother was in the same room. Granted, she was doing something else and not paying attention, but it was weird. It was also guaranteed to escalate which would’ve been extremely weird._

_“We should go into your room if this is gonna escalate.” Peter didn’t exactly want it to escalate, but it was better than it being in the same room as Skip’s fucking mother. Skip nodded and carried Peter to his room. It then escalated because of course it would. Peter had invited it, so it was fine. Peter didn’t have any experience, so he had no point of reference. Was he supposed to feel so indifferent?_

_Peter didn’t want to take off his binder. He really didn’t. Skip reached for it though, and Peter didn’t want to ruin the mood for Skip, so he let him. Peter felt weird as his pants came off. He didn’t know what he was feeling. He liked the attention, but his brain was more focused on the fact that someone could walk in at any point._

_In the end, Peter still felt indifference. He didn’t think he had an orgasm, but he didn’t know what they felt like. Not really. It was fine though. Skip was happy and that made Peter happy. It was fine._

The memories were overwhelming. He was tired and just wanted to sleep, but he already started telling Matt. Peter knew he wouldn’t judge him if he changed his mind, but Peter would be disappointed in himself. It wasn’t like anything bad happened. He just felt weird looking back on it. A weird feeling did not justify him backing out.

“We, I don’t know, I guess we did things and I just feel off when I think about them. It’s not... It’s not anything big.”

“Peter.” Peter flinched slightly when Matt used his serious tone. “Peter look at me.” Peter’s head immediately darted around to look at Matt. “I need you to tell me what happened. Start to finish.” Peter opened his mouth and just began talking.

“Well, Ned and MJ left within a month and Skip joined right after and I was kinda desperate for a friend, so we became fast friends. He was super physically affectionate which I really adored, and I guess I fell in love. I asked him out and we were off

“Our relationship was fast. I don’t know. There was a lot of PDA, which kinda freaked me out at first, but I liked being touched so it was fine. I didn’t really like how public it was. Especially in gym. I guess I felt like I couldn’t leave and was trapped. That’s an over-exaggeration... I think.

“I was kinda expected to kiss, or I guess make out, with him whenever there was a lull in anything. I’m pretty sure that’s normal, but it made me feel a bit weird. I really would’ve liked if it was a choice. Though, I could’ve stopped him. Guess I didn’t think about that.

“He also... um, he, uh, well, he would. Okay, I need to actually think before I talk. I talked about my insecurities with him and he would point them out when I was doing them. I guess he was trying to help me improve myself, but it didn’t feel like that. It didn’t feel awful, it just felt... weird. I’m sorry that I can’t think of a better word.

“We also had, well, we had sex. I wasn’t really sure I wanted to, but I didn’t say no, and I guess I enjoyed it. I don’t know. I was kinda distracted and I... It was fine! Oh please don’t think that it was anything, I should’ve just said no if I didn’t want it! I was just confused!”

“Peter, kid, none of that is normal nor okay.” Matt’s grip on Peter became almost suffocating, but it was oddly comforting. “I’m so sorry kid.”

“I don’t understand. It wasn’t-”

“Kid. If you didn’t want it, anything from the touches to intercourse, it wasn’t consensual. God, you really think that was fine. Him pointing out your so-called flaws is also extremely wrong and, depending on what he said, downright abusive. Regardless, it was manipulative and wrong.” Peter’s mouth fell open. What? He… No, it was his fault. If he didn’t want it, he could’ve just said no, so clearly, he _did_ want it. “We can continue talking about this after we get dinner. I know you’re hungry.” Peter nodded slowly.

Dinner was quiet. Peter was still processing what Matt had told him and Matt wasn’t one to push him to talk. They ended up eating whatever was in the fridge concerning leftovers as neither of them wanted to cook and take-out would’ve taken a bit to get there. Peter was too caught up in his thoughts to even really notice what they were eating. Nor did he pay attention to what it tasted like. The repetitive movement of eating was nice but other than that he was lost in his head.

_“Peter?” Peter froze when he heard Skip behind him. Peter turned around sharply to face Skip. He forced a smile. Skip didn’t need him to be super negative. He didn’t want to bother Skip with something as simple as a panic attack. Peter had them all the time. It was fine._

_“Hey, Skip! Didn’t see you there.” Well, it wasn’t a lie. Peter had tuned everything out, so he really hadn’t heard Skip walk up behind him. Not that he would’ve paid attention to the footsteps as there were always footsteps in the cafeteria. Skip leaned down, as Peter was sitting at the table, which meant that Peter leaned up to meet him for a kiss. It was better that he met it instead of shying away._

_“Whatcha eating there?” Skip looked over at Peter’s lunch. It was larger as his metabolism was faster because of Spider whatever. “I thought you were trying to slim down?” That wasn’t a lie. Peter had told Skip that he wanted to get into better shape. He didn’t think he was in poor shape, but he knew he could be better._

_“I mean, yeah…”_

_“I wouldn’t eat all of that then.” Peter’s face dropped and he pushed away the food._

_“Right.”_

Peter’s hand practically dropped the fork that had been in his hand. Why did _that_ memory have to resurface when he was eating? That memory always made his appetite disappear. Matt must’ve noticed because he instantly looked over to Peter with a hint of concern. Peter moved his hands underneath the table. He knew Matt would be able to hear them shaking anyway, but he wanted any sort of barrier between what was happening.

“Are you alright?” Matt asked, his voice remaining low.

“N-no.” Peter didn’t want to lie. He hated lying. He also hated that something so simple, just a couple sentences, got to him so much. Matt set down his fork, stood up, and walked over to Peter. Peter shifted his body to face him, head down. Matt crouched down and grabbed Peter’s hands gently.

“Is this about Skip?” Peter hesitated, then nodded. It may have been Peter’s own insecurity, but Skip was the one who mentioned it. Skip was the one that brought it up whenever he could. “You want to talk about it or are you done for today?” It was the second time Matt had asked it, but Peter was more wrapped up in his thoughts to really notice.

“I don’t know. I’m tired. I just want to sleep.” Peter leaned his head against Matt’s shoulder. Thinking about everything was exhausting. He just wanted to sleep it off and have the world disappear. Just forget about the world.

“Alright. Can you finish your food before you pass out though? Your metabolism requires more food than the average person to keep your powers up.” Peter pulled up his head and looked at the half-eaten leftovers. He really wasn’t hungry, but he didn’t want to worry Matt. He could force down the rest of it. Matt let go of Peter’s hands but didn’t make an effort to move back to his chair. Peter picked up the fork hesitantly. Eating didn’t sound like the most appealing thing he could do, but it wasn’t going to kill him.

Peter ate the rest of his dinner in silence. However, Matt was a comforting presence the entire time. Matt didn’t leave his side the entire time. Peter felt slightly bad that Matt had dropped everything to comfort him. The food was cold by the time he finished. The two silently made their way to Peter’s room. Before Peter could collapse on the bed, Matt put his hand on Peter’s shoulder.

“If you have trouble sleeping, there are special headphones I can give you.” Peter tilted his head slightly. “They’re basically a Bluetooth cloth headphone thing. I don’t know. It’s just so that the headphone wires don’t strangle you.” The idea was pleasant. Music _did_ help him calm down.

“That sounds great.” Matt nodded and went to his room, assumingly to get to headphones. Peter, meanwhile, sat on his bed and looked around his room. He’d moved into Matt’s apartment not that long ago. May’s death had been a shock no one really expected. Peter should’ve, everyone died around him, but he really thought he would May for longer. He was so glad he had Matt. Had he not… he would’ve just been thrown into the system.

Matt came back in a couple minutes with the headphone gadget.

“Don’t be afraid to wake me up if you need me.” Peter nodded but doubted he would if that situation came to pass. Peter hated annoying people with his issues when he knew he could deal with. They were hard to deal with, but he could. Matt and Peter said their goodnights and Peter drifted to sleep.

* * *

Peter sat on an antenna on some roof overlooking the city in his Spidey gear. Matt, clad in his Daredevil outfit, was on the same roof just lower. Peter was still shaken up from the previous day, but he wanted to do some hero work to clear his mind. Matt agreed, but only if he joined him on patrol. Peter had actually been hoping that Matt would join him. He could handle himself, but he liked working with other people from time to time. Small groups mostly. Big groups, like the Avengers, got overwhelming quickly.

“Got anything?” While Peter may have a better vantage point to look for crime, no one topped Matt’s senses. His Radar Sense was far better than anything Peter had up his sleeve.

“Iron Man, from the sounds of it, is close by, but if he’s dealing with it, there’s no point for us to barge in.” Matt stated simply, leaning back against the antenna Peter was on top of. Peter nodded, though he really didn’t need to, and looked over at where he assumed Tony would be. Sure enough, Tony was flying in his Iron Man armor seemingly looking for something. Peter shrugged slightly and went back to looking over the city. They had already stopped several crimes, so they didn’t _need_ to continue scouting, but Peter didn’t have anything better to do. 

“I’m gonna check another city. I know Hell’s Kitchen is kinda the only city you look after, so I won’t force you to come with me.” Peter secretly wanted Matt to join him, but he knew that Matt was pretty set on looking over only Hell’s Kitchen and leaving other cities to other people. Hell, the fact that Matt was letting Iron Man be _so close_ to Hell’s Kitchen was surprising. He hadn’t quite gone inside of the city borders though, Peter and Matt were on the very outskirts surveying, so he would be fine as long as he didn’t actually cross that border.

“Just make sure you’re back before curfew.” Peter nodded swiftly. Matt walked towards the edge of the building. “I’m gonna do one last sweep.” With that, Matt was off. Peter turned and swung off in the opposite direction. When Peter moved to Hell’s Kitchen, he had already begun surveying most of New York. People still knew something was different as Spider-Man was the first hero to join Daredevil in protecting Hell’s Kitchen, but at least they didn’t immediately think he moved there. Some had figured it out though. Luckily, the media was far more fascinated by his and Daredevil’s relationship. (Most had said they were dating when they were most definitely _not_.)

Peter swung through the building, building up speed as he did. He loved the feeling of the wind rushing past him. Of falling and catching himself. It was relaxing enough to make him completely lose himself in the moment. Nothing else mattered. Not what happened yesterday. Not what happened years ago. It was freeing. Of course, there was still crime to stop, but all in all, it was a quiet night.

As the night fully set in, it must’ve been somewhere around 10, Peter once again rested on the top of a building. He didn’t take off his mask, but he did lift it past his mouth. It wasn’t _hard_ to breathe through, but it wasn’t nice either. Peter looked off into the city below. It really didn’t ever sleep. It was just as busy throughout the entire day. It was both beautiful and horrifying. Peter couldn’t protect the city 24/7, which meant he had to rely on the police and other heroes. That was so much easier said than done.

Now that Peter thought about it, he hadn’t heard anything about Iron Man taking down anyone. Had he just been surveying? Tony wasn’t one to do that though. As he put it, it was above his pay grade. Whether Peter _agreed_ with that was moot as it didn’t change the fact that Tony simply didn’t survey. Had he been looking for something, or someone, specifically? Whatever it was, Peter was focusing too much on it. If the Avengers needed his help, which was rare, they would just call him. Though, that thought was not appealing. If they needed his help, it was a world-ending event. He wasn’t ready for one of those yet.

Not after the last one.

Peter shook his head, lowered his mask, and leaped off the edge of the building. Whatever happened, happened. Plus, it was nearing curfew and pissing off Matt was the last thing he needed. Well, Matt would probably just be disappointed, not pissed. Still, not ideal. Peter swung absentmindedly until Tony freaking Stark decided to meet him on the roof of a building inside Hell’s Kitchen. Well shit.

“Spider-Man.”

“Stark.” Peter didn’t really know how to address the man in front of him. He didn’t want to be too formal and possibly give away his age, but he also didn’t want to be too casual. Calling him “Stark” still felt wrong, but he wasn’t gonna sit there for a minute thinking about how to address him.

“I believe we need to talk.” Peter tilted his head slightly. That was not how Peter expected the conversation to start.

“What’s wrong? Another world-ending threat? Want to recruit me? Just want some company. Nothing to be ashamed of. We all get bored. I mean, not _all_ the Avengers seem like good company-” 

“God. Could you just shut up?” Peter took a step back in both shook and fear. Why was Tony pissed at him? What had he done? Peter talked a lot, sure, but that had never pissed Tony off _that_ much before. “Your name is Peter Parker, right?”

“How did-”

“I talked to one of my interns. He goes to your school, actually.” Peter wasn’t aware that Tony accepted highschool interns. He must’ve been really smart. Well, it was Midtown after all. Pretty much all the kids there were extremely smart. Though, with Parker Luck, it was probably Flash.

“Oh. I didn’t know you had highschool interns. Why do you need to talk to me though?” Peter was tempted to just apologize, but he didn’t know what was happening. Though, he would probably end up apologizing anyway whether he was truly at fault or not. He really didn’t want to draw out a confrontation with fucking _Iron Man_. Not only would that most definitely end in Peter bawling, but it was also a bad move to make enemies with the Avengers.

“Like you don’t know. The kid came crying to me yesterday. He was talking about how _the_ Spider-Man had hurt him.”

“What-”

“You shut up.” Tony took a couple steps forward, still inside of his armor. Peter took steps back to match which put him at the very edge of the building. Shit. “He talked about how Spider-Man was just _some kid_ and that he was so _foolish_ to have trusted him.”

“Who-”

“Steven Westcott. You probably know him as Skip. You know, the person you took advantage of in a relationship.” Peter felt his heart stop. _No_. This _couldn’t_ be happening. Skip never talked about interning for _Tony Stark_. Then again, Skip barely talked about his life. Mainly asked questions about Peter’s. How did Skip even know he was Spider-Man? Was it that obvious? God, he hoped not.

“S-Skip? I mean, we did date, but I never…” What was Peter supposed to say? Matt had told him that Skip was the one at fault in their relationship, but what if Peter was? What if Peter was the one that fucked Skip up? That wasn’t something a “hero” should do. Was he even a hero at that point?

“Don’t try and flip the script. It won’t work. He came into work a sobbing mess and it’s all your fault. How do you even live with yourself?” Peter lifted the mask fully off his face this time. He couldn’t breathe. There was air around him, but none of it would enter his fucking lungs. Tony took more steps forward, but Peter couldn’t move backwards to accommodate. Tony was right in front of him and Peter was _terrified_. His legs shook violently, and he was one wrong move from falling off the building. Wouldn’t that be an ironic end?

“I- I don’t…” Peter didn’t know what to say. Should he just apologize and run home? _Home._ He wanted to go home. He wanted to curl up next to Matt and have Matt tell him a story. Maybe one about his college days. Those were always fun to listen to. He didn’t want to be backed off of a building. He didn’t want to be scared shitless at the hands of _Tony Stark_. He didn’t want to be told by one of his childhood heroes that he was pathetic.

“You don’t know what you did? Or do you just not want to admit it?” Tony took another step forward and all Peter’s instincts were telling him to do was jump. “You just don’t want to admit that you-”

“What the fuck are you doing to my kid?” Relief washed over Peter as he saw Matt walk up behind Tony. His voice was laced with poison which was normally reserved for criminals. The only other person Peter had heard him use it on was The Punisher and that’s because they _really_ didn’t like each other.

“ _Your_ kid?” Matt walked over and placed himself in front of Peter. Peter, still shaking from the waist down, grabbed onto his arm. He didn’t want the two to fight, but he also didn’t want to speak up and make it worse.

“Yes. _My kid._ Who I recommend you move away from before I throw you off of this roof.” For some reason, what Matt said seemed to strike a nerve of some sort as the next thing Peter knew Tony was stepping out of his armor. His face held an angry expression that Peter expected, but it still scared him. Tony wasn’t known for keeping his cool, but Peter never expected that anger to be directed towards _him_.

“I’m afraid to inform you that your kid hurt _mine_. You may be protective of your kid, but he certainly has some balls going after mine.” Tony looked at Peter who immediately lowered his gaze. “I will not hesitate to reveal your identity to the whole world.” Tony then turned his attention to Matt. “And I’m sure yours won’t be hard to find.”

“Peter has dedicated his fucking life to helping everyone he can and you’re trying to tell me he maliciously hurt someone? Bull-fucking-shit.” Peter tightened his grip on Matt’s arm. Matt was rarely ever that pissed.

“He dated my kid and manipulated him the entire time-”

“Wait. We’re talking about _Skip_? You’re clearly deeply misinformed. _Skip_ manipulated Peter and put him into situations he shouldn’t’ve been put in. Do _not_ try and blame Peter or I swear to god you will regret it.”

“Situations like what?” It was obvious that Tony didn’t believe a word of what Matt was saying. It was _also_ obvious that Matt wasn’t going to let that slide. Matt scoffed slightly but didn’t move. Probably because Peter’s grip was so tight he might not be able to move comfortably.

“You really think I’m going to dump all of this kid’s trauma on you just so that you can flip the script? Just so you can make him feel worse than he already does? Because if you _really_ think that I’m going to give you a list of what happened, you aren’t much of a genius at all.” Matt turned to face Peter, who had stopped shaking considerably. “C’mon, let’s go home.” Peter simply nodded and let Matt pick him up to carry him home.

“This isn’t done!” The control Tony had in his voice was completely gone. What used to sound calculated, now simply sounded desperate. Peter had heard that tone before. Mostly when criminals were trying to explain why they did something and Peter didn’t listen. They got desperate and tried anything to get Peter to not web them up for the cops. He never thought he would hear that tone from a hero. A hero Peter looked up to. Keyword: looked. After that whole outburst, Peter wasn’t so sure he could look up to him anymore.

The way home felt longer than it normally did. Maybe it was because the world seemed to fall out of his grasp. Peter’s eyes stared in front of him not focusing on anything. Sounds muffled together. It all became a blob of what it used to be. Time passed at a rate, but Peter couldn’t figure out if it was mind-numbingly fast or slow. Touch normally helped him focus, but it wasn’t doing anything. If anything, it faded to the background like everything else. Thoughts passed through his mind, but none of them was anything to actually truly think about. They just filled up the empty space.

Once they were home, Peter expected Matt to suggest they sit down and talk about everything again, but Matt just set Peter down on the couch and walked over to the kitchen. Peter’s brain hadn’t registered that he was hungry, but Peter could put two and two together. He had just been on patrol and his metabolism was fast. He needed to eat.

Peter went to speak up many times as Matt cooked and then as they ate, but no words would actually form. What was there to say? Iron Man had just ragged on Peter and then Matt had shown up and threatened him. It all didn’t feel real, but it was. Tony yelling at him and telling him that he was pathetic really did happen and it really wasn’t gonna leave his mind anytime soon. How could it? All Peter could think about was how it was most certainly his fault. Matt had told Peter, and Tony, that it wasn’t, but Peter really could’ve just said no.

It all seemed so simple. If Peter had just said no, or broken up with him, or _anything_ , he wouldn’t be sitting at a table with Matt, neither knowing what to say. Peter wanted to apologize, but he didn’t know how to. A general apology wouldn’t satisfy Peter, but what could he narrow in on? The fact that he let Tony get to him? The fact that he let Matt fight for him? The fact he couldn’t just walk away when someone confronted him? The fact that he wasn’t strong enough?

“Look, I know we already talked yesterday, but something is clearly eating at you.” A pause. “You don’t have to talk about it, but you’re okay. We’re okay. I know all that back there scared you, and that’s okay, but I _promise you_ that I won’t let Tony do anything to you.”

“I know.” There was a part of him that desperately wanted to say more. That desperately wanted to break down again, but Peter knew. Peter knew that Matt wouldn’t let anything happen. If Tony did reveal Peter’s identity, Matt could use his connections to make that seem impossible. Peter was still on edge though. The idea of Tony using his identity against him was terrifying.

“How was the rest of your patrol?” It was clear that Matt just wanted to fill the void of awkward silence, but Peter wasn’t complaining. He always liked talking about patrol. Peter launched off into explaining everything about his patrol.

“Well, as soon as I started surveying, I stopped an attempted bank robbery. They weren’t very good at it. They were super loud, and it was super easy to take them down. They weren’t happy though. They were yelling the whole time about how I didn’t understand. That’s pretty typical though. There was also this group of people trying to break into someone’s house. They were a bit better at fighting, but not by much. Still easy to web up. The only one that took a bit more focus and work was an attempted kidnapping. Poor girl had no idea what was happening. They seemed to know what they were doing, which wasn’t great. Still took them down though.”

“Sounds like you had an eventful night all things considered.” Peter shrugged slightly.

“It was actually a slow night until _that_ whole fiasco. I guess that you don’t get that many crimes when you work in a small area, huh?”

“Not really.” Matt stopped talking for a second and grabbed the plates that were now empty. Peter followed him to the kitchen and sat on the counter as Matt started the dishes. “Hell’s Kitchen is full of crime, that’s why I started this to begin with, but it’s not gonna be nearly as dense as crime from all over New York.”

“Makes enough sense. I didn’t do this much per night when I was just surveying Queens.” Peter stared at the wall across from him while he swung his legs slightly. He really had missed the pleasures of just talking to Matt. “I couldn’t just limit myself to Queens though after I saw that the rest of New York didn’t have someone specifically looking after it.”

“You never had been able to stand by when something happens. Some day that’s gonna backfire on you, you know?”

“Yeah, I do. I’m prepared for that though.”

“Oh really?”

“Really! I know who I can call when I’m in trouble and I know that I’m not the only one dedicated to saving people.” Peter turned to look at Matt who had a subdued grin on his face.

“No. No, you’re not.” Peter smiled lightly. He knew that there were things that weren’t going to heal quickly, or might not ever heal, but he had Matt. Just like how he could call him whenever he was in danger in battle, he could call him when he was struggling with his head. When his head wouldn’t be quiet. When the memories became too much, Matt was there.

Peter wasn’t alone.

**Author's Note:**

> Because this is personal experience, it's not exactly the most dramatic or nearly as bad as it could've been.  
> Basically, being touch-starved made me think that the advances I didn't want were consensual because my body was telling me it was.  
> That's b u l l s h i t.  
> Consent isn't the absence of a no, it's a continuous and enthusiastic yes.  
> Just because I didn't say no, doesn't mean that it was consensual.  
> Also, yes, my experience isn't the worst, but it's still traumatic, so cut the bullshit.  
> Also, I'd love to talk :(；ﾞﾟ'ωﾟ'): [My Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/nathanalexanderwrites/) [My Twitter](https://twitter.com/NateAWrites/%22)  
> The ending actually changed. It wasn't going to be as domestic, but I talked to my mom recently and... this just happened.


End file.
